Daily Dirt for Wednesday, March 18, 2026
What were some of the parents thinking when they named those kids? … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,581 of The Daily Dirt.
1. Before the college basketball season started, we presented our list of the best names in college basketball, which has been a personal labor of love since the early 1980s.
For the first time, however, here’s a postseason list in honor of the NCAA Tournaments, which are getting underway this week. The following names have emerged since the start of the season. None of our preseason names are included.
Mern’s Name of the Year
Chandler Bing, Vanderbilt. (Anyone whoever watched even one episode of “Friends” has to be a fan of this kid, a 6-foot-6 freshman for the Commodores. Interestingly, he has said he has never watched an episode of the famous TV show.)
First team
Solo Ball, UConn
Jizzle James, Cincinnati (He’s the son of former all-pro running back Edgerrin James.)
Supreme Cook, Oregon
Tennessee Rainwater, Utah Tech
Townsend Tripple, BYU
All Wright, Xavier
Second team
Wiggy Ball, UL-Monroe
Churchill Bounds, Salisbury University
Michaelangelo Oberti, Penn
Cyncier Harrison, Stetson
Enoch Cheeks, Dayton
Frederico Frederico, Texas Tech
Special mentions
Boo Buie, Northwestern
Tony Toney, UAB
Boopie Miller, SMU
Puff Johnson, Penn State
Legend Geeter, Eastern Michigan
Legend Smiley, USF
Stoney Hadnot, South Dakota State
Blue Cain, Georgia
Boogie Fland, Arkansas
Kobe Elvis, Dayton
Rocket Watts, Oakland
Doctor Bradley, Bethune-Cookman
Maximus Gizzi, Minnesota
Sami Pissis, Alabama A&M
Just so you don’t think we are ignoring the NCAA women’s tournament, here’s our favorite names from that side of the aisle, too:
Women’s Name of the Year
Thelma Barbitch, UTEP. (Thelma either needs to get married to get rid of that last name, or legally have it changed. That’s an unnecessary cross for her to bear.)
First team
Gabby Goo, Utah Velley
Trinity San Antonio, Grand Canyon
Chariot Johnson, Bethune-Cookman
Ice Brady, UConn
Last-Tear Poa, LSU
Second team
Lamiracle Lebon, Pacific
Winner Bartholomew, Pacific
Destiny Salary, Western Kentucky
Lacambria Shakespeare, Alabama A&M
Nike Borg, Southern Utah
Special mention
Laronda Quattlebaum, Jacksonville
Blessing King, Marshall
Timberlyn Yeast, Marshall
Rain Green, SEMO
Lyric Barr, Houston Christian
2. Did you know (Part 681)
— That some toilets in Japan play music to mask sounds.
— That the average person spends an average of three years of their life sitting on the toilet. Holy crap.
— That “yestreen” is another word for yesterday evening and “overtomorrow” is another way of saying the day after tomorrow.
— That the fear of a mirror is called “catoptrophobia.”
— That the fear of crossing streets is called “dromophobia.”
3. This week’s Daily Dirt celebrity birthday wishes go to:
— Entertainer Diana Ross turns 82 on Thursday. If she’s not my all-time favorite female singer, she’s definitely on the medal stand.
— Singer Kenny Chesney will be 58, also on Thursday. I’ll always “How Forever Feels” because of the Richard Petty reference.
— Singer Fergie turns 51 on Friday. I wonder if there will ever be a Black Eyed Peas reunion?
— Entertainer Reba McEntire will be 71 on Saturday. Of all the things Reba’s done, I think I have enjoyed her contribution(s) to “The Voice” the most.
— Singer Lady Gaga will be 40, also on Saturday. She was born Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta.
Steve Thought O’ The Day — Looking at that list of birthdays, it dawned on me that Diana Ross, Kenny Chesney, Fergie, Reba McEntire and Lady Gaga would be quite the concert, eh?
Steve Eighigner writes daily for Muddy River News. He’s still working on his bracket.